I don't know about you, but in the beginning of relationships, I always try to hide rather, um, unsavory habits from my partner. Farting is at the top of that list. This scene from French Twist, in which Sydney farts for the first time in front of Louis, her brand new fiance, is an exact account of how everything went down between me and my husband. Oh, the embarrassment! But it made a really funny scene, didn't it?
Unfortunately for me, that evening was my turn to be the source of a scent faux pas. Louis and I were sitting on the couch after dinner enjoying some mind numbing TV when I felt some rumbling in my abdomen. Uh oh. I had been able to hide the fact that I fart from Louis for the duration of our relationship, though once we started living together it had become much more complicated. I had made more than a few spontaneous trips to the balcony for “a breath of fresh air.” I was sure that Louis was on to me, but I wasn’t ready to give up the illusion yet.
I started to extract myself from the couch for a trip to the balcony, when Louis tugged on my hand.
“Where are you going, mon coeur? You are so snuggly. I don’t want you to get up.” He tried to pull me back onto the couch.
I laughed nervously. “I just need a little air. I will be right back.” I tried to pull my hand away.
He held onto my hand and looked at me. “Is that really what this is about?” He was trying hard not to smile.
As I was about to answer him, a foreign sound escaped my body. I had finally farted in front of Louis. I knew that I was blushing from the humiliation. And I haven’t even told you the worst part. It was smelly, loud and, oddly enough, musical. That’s right! It came out as a high pitched note that is hard to describe. It almost sounded like... “Plew!”
Louis laughed so hard that he fell off of the couch. He had tears of laughter streaming down his face. I just stood there looking at him completely torn between laughing with him and being really annoyed with him. I finally joined him on the floor and started to laugh. Every couple of minutes he would stop laughing, look at me and sing, “Plew!” Then he would start laughing all over again. I decided that my days of hiding farts from him were over. Although I doubt that he would find it this funny every time...
(Excerpt from French Twist by Glynis Astie, Copyright 2013.)
Many thanks to my son's preschool teacher for the suggestion for this week's post. I don't think that I would have chosen the scene had it not been specifically asked about. :)
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